SAY NO TO SMOKE DETECTORS BLOG
Hello! I’m Claire, and I was just “hired” as the new “Director of Communications” for a website called “saynotosmokedetectors.com” which in this case means I’m being paid for 1 day to write 10,000 words on the subject of “Why smoke detectors are bad”, and anything else I’m told to write about during the day, which apparently the owner is going to turn into 20 blog posts so he can qualify for advertising networks.
So.. smoke detectors are bad, I guess. I don’t really have time to research this but I’m pretty sure that’s not true and everyone should have a smoke detector in their house. But I have rent to pay so “SMOKE DETECTORS ARE BAD”. This guy also said I should capitalize the “MOST IMPORTANT WORDS” in every sentence. He already paid me though, so that’s not going to happen. Anyways, I think this website is a joke or something but the guy that hired me seemed pretty serious. He didn’t give his name or show his face, but he did Venmo me a day’s pay so here I am.
I really hope he doesn’t format this writing like he did the homepage of the website. It looks like a child made it.
Editor's note: Claire kind of looks like this.